Huh?
Welcome to the inside of my mind. Sorry for the clutter. While in the realm of nonfiction, let me just say memory is a lousy filer. To the best of my recollections the following actually happened. Hopefully none of it will hold up in court, being hearsay from an unreliable witness.
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Bring Out Your Dead
Many corpses have spent time in my freezer. Being a renter I never wanted to bury my small pets anywhere I’d move away from. A vat of Dermestid beetles would’ve been handy to keep the bones of my feathered, furry, & scaly friends in my display case. Technically I do still have some bones, in…
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Hitchhiker’s Guide to Banality
Childhood found me the author & illustrator of stapled-together books, some of which ran backwards because I confused right & left. Later I penned magazines & newspapers, all fictional. By the time I reached 7th grade, an English teacher trotted out that old chestnut ‘Write what you know.’ My life at that juncture consisted of…
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I’ve Bean Loving You Too Long
As I walked the property the other day I was rewarded with a glimpse of a small garter snake. Inspiration struck & I hurried off, startling a huge bumblebee from a blossom to collide with my face. It then drunkenly course-corrected & buzzed away. I consider that a twofer with wildlife. I adore snakes, but…
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Filthy Lucre
“One day you’ll hold millions of dollars in your hand.” I could imagine a psychic telling me this right before I laugh myself to the floor. Not only has money never been high on my agenda, but I resent its intrusive necessity. The very concept is offensive. This system is FUBAR. Some of the dozens…
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Death Becomes Me
I’ve always felt I would make a good corpse. Not in a ‘want to be displayed’ way. That’s ooky. Don’t get me wrong. This existence is rife with poignantly stunning marvels that fill me with awe. I’m not eager to leave, just curious about eternal rest. If the saying ‘You can’t take it with you’…
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The Case of Whose Gun
Anton Chekhov said about penning plays “If in the 1st act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired.” A rule known as ‘Chekhov’s Gun’. I’m no playwright. Haven’t read plays in years. No reason other than I don’t do a lot of things I used…
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Huh? 