Huh?
Welcome to the inside of my mind. Sorry for the clutter. While in the realm of nonfiction, let me just say memory is a lousy filer. To the best of my recollections the following actually happened. Hopefully none of it will hold up in court, being hearsay from an unreliable witness.
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Nobody Bothered to Write This
[What follows is playing with words to intentionally skew meaning. This story is written in 3rd person omniscient. No disrespect to other nonbinaries intended, but my pronouns are anyone/everyone/nobody for the purposes of this narrative. A writer writes for anyone, or everyone, or sometimes nobody. That’s why I found these pronouns intriguing.] With the metal,…
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O Pointed Barb, Where Is Thy Sting?
Sorry to repurpose 1 Corinthians 15:55, but I was raised in a revival tent [read cult], so the biblical reference makes sense. Revving engine? Check. Squealing tires? Check. Some inbred shouting? Check. Eye roll. I know who’s coming for me. Well, not personally– who’d want that? But FFS, I don’t have time for this. Who,…
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This is for the Birds
Like everyone, I’ve pondered what’s to be done with my remains upon expiring. It’s unfortunate that mummification fell out of fashion. Initially I planned to donate my body to science. They use human remains for many things, some as organic crash-test dummies. I learned that from Mary Roach’s book Stiff. My following choice was to…
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Of Dogs & Disorders
“Guys like us, that work on ranches, are the loneliest guys in the world.” – John Steinbeck Long before our current era, I lived in a post-truth household. An alternate reality. A couple adopts a certain breed of dog one of them nagged the other for, & that dog adores the one who was reluctant.…
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Plants Über Alles
[I was trying to make this the German equivalent of ‘My Struggle with Plants,’ but ‘Mein Kämpfen mit Pflanzen’ is the closest I could get & it’s still grammatically incorrect. Sigh.] When I applied for financial aid to go to community college, I qualified for a work study job to supplement my grant monies. I…
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Mardi Gras by Junk Bonds
In my defense, the most colorful street celebration in a U.S. city sounded like a cultural thing I might enjoy. Not least because I’ve always had my odd form of dress-up; I could hide in plain sight amongst the revelers. Celebrations traditionally include lots of people. Willingly surrounding myself with lots of people was going…
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Huh? 